Friday, December 08, 2006
Molly really has to hold her hairball reflex on this item. It's quotes on that blight on the Earth called dogs. But for those with less refined tastes than cat-lovers here it goes:
A little joke first:
If you want somebody who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section then buy a dog.
If you want somebody to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you then buy a dog.
If you want somebody who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says it is quite as good as his mother made it...then buy a dog.
If you want somebody who is always willing to go out at any hour, for as long and wherever you want, then buy a dog.
If you want somebody who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies then buy a dog.
If you want somebody who is content to get up onto your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores then buy a dog.
If you want somebody who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually...then buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, if you want somebody who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to sleep and eat, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness, then...buy a cat.
What did you think it was going to be ????
Anyways, on to the quotes:
1)"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"
2)"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful"
3)"If there are no dogs in heaven, then I want to go where they went"
4)"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face"
5)"A dog is the only thing on Earth that loves you more than he loves himself"
6)"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person"
7)"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made."
8)"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people. We are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
9)"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
10)"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times before lying down"
11)"Anyone who doesn't know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog"
-Franklin P. Jones
12)"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very,very few persons"
13)"If your dog is fat you are not getting enough exercise"
14)"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money"
15)"Ever consider what our dogs must think of us ? I mean here we come back home from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth."
16)"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"
-Robert A. Heinlein
17)"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
18)"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,'Wow, you're right ! I never would have thought of that !"
19)"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole"
20)"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them."
21)"My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am"
Enough of this distasteful subject for now. Back to the cat world.