Thursday, August 09, 2007

Speaking of bosses here's a couple of found jokes that Molly recently stumbled upon.
At a seminar called 'Stress and Disease' Dr. Nicolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those 'Take This Job and Shove It' days try this:
On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by 'Q-Tip'. Be sure that you get this brand.
When you get home lock your doors, draw the drapes and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to comfortable clothing such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer, remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that says "every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is PERSONALLY tested".
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times; "I'm so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip company".
The Dakota Indians of North America passed on this piece of wisdom from generation to generation by word of mouth. "If you are riding a dead horse the best thing to do is to dismount". In the corporate world, however, because of the heavy investment factor other things to be tried (but not limited to) are the following:
*buy a stringer whip
*change riders
*threaten the horse with termination
*appoint a committee to study the horse
*arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses
*lower the standards so dead horses can be included
*appoint an intervention team to reanimate the horse
*create a training session to increase the rider's load share
*reclassify the horse as "living impaired"
*change the form so it reads "This horse is not dead"
*hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse
*harness several dead horses together for increased speed and efficiency
*donate the dead horse to a recognized charity thereby deducting its full original cost
*provide additional funding to increase horse's performance
*do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity
*purchase an after market product that makes dead horses run faster
*declare that dead horses have lower overhead costs and are therefore more cost efficient
*form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses
*rewrite the performance requirements for horses
*and finally if all else fails...promote the dead horse into a management position
AMEN...Molly would add
*give a donation to a liberal or social democratic party, democratic friends of the workers, who will nationalize or subsidize your dead horse at considerable profit to your company
Boss humour, gotta love it. Molly has found a great site well worth visiting- KillOurBoss.Com. Link to it here or go to our 'Other Interesting Links' section.

1 comment:

Werner said...

The Shag says: Do what normal horses do and walk away from the dead horse.