THE LATEST NEWS:
It's been a little while since Molly has cruised over to Scary Squirrel World, the ultimate source for the only conspiracy theory that makes any sense. To make up for this here is the latest on the Skwrerll conspiracy to take over the world:
FURY IN FLORIDA:
"SQUIRREL ATTACKS SHOPPERS:
Monday, may 14th, 2007, 11:20:08 PM
It was a crazy scene in Port Saint John, Brevard County, Florida after a squirrel went on the attack. Folks at a Port St. John pharmacy say the squirrel was on a woman's leg and would not let go. It stayed on her as she walked into the store and a man inside tried to swat it off her. That is when the squirrel attacked him. Then another woman tried to help but was attacked so severely by the animal that she had to go to the hospital.
Carroll Williams witnessed the attack, she said,"It was on her leg. Bit her leg. it was on her back, scratched her back. Scratched her on one of her arms. I was scared, glad it didn't jump on me. I've never seen one act like that before."
Store employees were able to corral the squirrel into a basket and built a barricade out of soda boxes until animal control officers were able to take it away. Animal control officers on the scene say they are not sure why the squirrel attacked."
Scary Squirrel World goes on to comment,
"Patriots, it's hardly a surprise that the animal control officers at the scene claimed they didn't know why the shwerl attacked. But could it be that their ignorance was feigned ? After all, aren't they supposed to be experts in animal control and behavior ? Might it not be that these "officials" are really minions of squirrel world domination who spirited the slavering nutzy bravo away before it could be interrogated ?
And what secret(s) are they keeping in the cage they hauled off to who knows where ? Well, we say it's no coincidence that the Kennedy Space Center is just a few short minutes away..."