Tuesday, May 27, 2008


HUMOUR:
TALES FROM JULIE'S MATTRESS:
It's late at night and Molly is well into her sick fantasies. It seems that "somebody" bugged the premises occupied by Julie Couillard, the late paramour of now disgraced cabinet minister Maxime (Mad Max) Bernier. Ms Couillard has had her domicile inspected by "security experts" (whatever that may mean), and they say that there is evidence of bugging devises that have since been removed. Perhaps true. Very much in keeping with the paranoid actions of the Harper government, no matter how much Sneaky Stevie may try to bully his way through this latest scandal which, for the moment, eclipses the "family values' of Manitoba MP Vic Taews and his infidelity (for which Harper plans to award him with an appointment to the Supreme Court, thereby getting him out of his hair). I LOVE that Conservative adherence to principle. It gives me faith that anarchism is not the only political movement plagued with hypocrites and looneys (though, according to Anarchy, a Journal of Desire Perverted, "hypocrisy" is a term that cannot be applied to our own loonies- ah well right wing loonies and "left wing" loonies).
But enough of sectarian sniping. My own bete noires will die their own predetermined death by slow attrition. Back to those who actually have relevance- our dear oh-so-moral Conservative leaders. Molly brings you this broadcast, as transmitted via the microphone in Julie's mattress. Picture the following:
Mad Max is lying naked on the floor, trussed up in drag and bound head to foot. He has borrowed the off-colour lipstick that he stole from Sneaky Stevie's dresser( Molly has often commented on Sneaky Stevie's choice of lipstick on this blog) to colour his pale lips.
Julie is standing over him, dressed in old leather clothes left over from her younger days, and snapping a whip. Great role-playing sex fantasies for our defenders of "traditional morality", but what do you expect ? THAT was "traditional morality" as normal sexual impulses were perverted into strange pathways and never talked about. THAT is what the crooks who babble about our present "lack of morality" want to restore ie the "morality" of the clerical sadists of residential schools where "purity' is preached in public while the grossest forms of vice are practised in private in the most violent manner possible.
Anyways, here's the explanation for the misplaced documents. It was a erotic role playing game, quite often engaged in by "defenders of morality" gone wrong. I quote from Julie's mattress:
"Unt now schveinhundt. Ve know you haf ze zocuments. You veel geef zem to us or ve vill begin vis ze vip". Und vo must not getten ze hard-on. Mach schnell."
Well, it's as good an explanation as any other for gross stupidity. I guess the thrill was sufficient that Mad Max forgot to remove the props. Ooops !

No comments: