Sunday, October 03, 2010


We're off and running, or at least hanging around in a lineup waiting for boarding at the airport. Putter, putter, putter, eavesdrop, eavesdrop, eavesdrop.The plane will be flying from the wilds of Winnipeg to a gentle civilized land of milder weather...with an unfortunate stop over in that northern extension of Alabama known as Alberta. Or at least that is what is believed by those that think Noah's Flood deposited it there. The pair in front of us are, appropriately enough, two evangelicals just returning from praying up a storm down east somewhere, and they are in full Jesus mode.

My nose starts twitching when God Boy opens his mouth to launch into his Muslim conspiracy spiel connected with the Cordoba Islamic Centre in New York which he, of course, calls a mosque. Now understand that Molly grew up out in the country on the Canadian prairies. I have also spent over 40 years listening to leftist hogwash of various sorts from 'dialectics' to 'abolishing civilization' with all the nonsense in between. What I can say is that my nose is so good that I can smell the excrement from the hind end of a male animal of the bovine persuasion from 5 miles away...upwind.

The old nostril hairs stand erect as God Boy jumps from the North America continent to (I think) Europe with his concern that "10 years ago there were only 800 mosques and now there are 80,000". He is, of course, off by a factor of about 10. Yet he goes on about how this is true for everywhere in Europe "except Russia".Uh Yeah ! This is prefaced with what really set the old nose hairs tingling. He was "there on a security job for the American government". All that I can say is if the US Empire has been reduced to hiring idiots who brag about such things in public lineups then it is in even more trouble than I could imagine or even want. Sorta reminds me of some of my braggart would-be revolutionist anarchist "comrades".

The conversation goes on, and God Boy has the floor. To my horror he says what may be the only true part of his monologue...he's apparently a "teacher". That I can believe. It doesn't take much smarts to bullshit in front of a bunch of kids at the 'Holy TV Hour Bible School' in Constipation, Alberta. Then we're off into the ozone again about the dastardly Islamic plot concerning the naming of the 'Cordoba House' in New York.

A little aside and a small history lesson here. The Moors invaded Spain in 711 AD, overthrowing the ruling Visigoth kingdom who were not a great source of fun for the average downtrodden peasant. The new rulers were a slight improvement over the Visigoths, particularly the Emirate of Cordoba who set some sort of standard for the day of enlightened rule and tolerance to other religions (Christian and Jewish). The Emirate, however, ceased to be in 1031.Muslim rulers who followed this emirate were at least half as nasty as the Christians. I have a sneaking suspicion that the example of this emirate was high in the minds of those who decided to set up the centre in NYC, in more than childish ignorance of what country they lived in and the equally childish innocence of their belief that Americans would "get the message" of tolerance and living peaceably together. This in a country in which the majority of its citizens can't identify their own states, let alone tell that 'Bahrain" is not a weather condition.

But back to God Boy. He's on a roll. What according to him is the "reason" for naming the centre (mosque-sic) after Cordoba. Well, it's because "in the Second Crusade the Moslems took Cordoba". The Second Crusade (another boring history lesson) by the way was from 1145 to 1149, and its object was the recovery of Edessa which had been recaptured subsequent to its capture in the First Crusade. Let Molly remind you that the Emirate of Cordoba was overthrown by another Muslim power in 1031. Lest you think that God Boy simply is not only about 3,000 kilometers and 100 years out to lunch (or is it 400 years out to lunch) consider the following.

I've already spoken about the naivete of the Muslims who set in motion the idea of the Cordoba Centre. Their ignorance might be compared to that of say a Canadian immigrant to Greece or Turkey ignorant of history who was to praise the wrong country in public company. One could adduce other examples as well. There is what may be described as "honest ignorance", but then there is something that might best be described as "deliberate ignorance with malevolent intent". In such cases one believes a rather treacherous "authority" because the statements of said authority accord with what one wants to believe. If the reader has some slight knowledge of either medicine or anthropology he or she can find great and grievous examples of such malevolent evil and deliberate ignorance amongst the American perversion of anarchism called "primitivism", and their bizarre idea that their fantasy of "traditional healing" can more than replace modern medicine (a great evil in their pretty well religious point of view). But that is certainly another subject.

Where the Holy Rollers of Alberta get their perversion of history is from a peripheral event in the Second Crusade. The crusaders had already acquired a well deserved reputation for treachery, brutality and thievery in the First Crusade. The main efforts of the Byzantine Emperor Manuel during the Second Crusade were to get the armies through Byzantine territory with the minimum of pillage on other Christians. The greatest effort of "fighting for God" of the crusaders, of course, occurred in the Fourth Crusade when the armies of God sacked Constantinople. But during the Second Crusade a number of those bound for the so-called 'Holy Land' saw an opportunity for profit in hiring themselves out to the King of Portugal in his campaign to conquer what is now Lisbon. They were, of course, promised the opportunity of looting. They succeeded, and the inevitable happened.

Sometime, somehow some ill intentioned "authority" amongst the Evangelists got hold of this peripheral factoid, and through great distortion, both deliberate and inadvertent it got worked up into the nonsense that God Boy believes. Somehow Cordoba got thrown into the mix, particularly as it was ideologically useful in present day America. God Boy is, of course, just as unlikely to check his facts as a true believer in the great wisdom of so-called "primitive" people is.

Well let's just say that I was "hot to trot" to get at this guy. The wife told me that I had "the look" on my face that signals that I am about to attack either verbally or physically. It's the same look that I use to deal with street demons in Winnipeg. God knows that I hate to leave gross bullshit uncorrected. On the other hand the self preservation instinct was operating as well. It actually DID go through my mind to call out to security when the argument got too heated and they gathered around that I suspected God Boy of being some sort of "fundamentalist terrorist" who planned to blow the plane up. All that would have accomplished, however, would be for BOTH of us to be in the back rooms. So I shut my face.

Hooray for self control because I would have missed the best part. God Boy was doing his best to be impressive to God Girl, all the way from his "secret agent man" pose to his "intellectual" lectures. God Girl, however, was not to be outdone, and she pulled one of what I assume is a great trump card in such circles...healing. While she was down in Ontario she went traipsing down to a revival meeting at about the same time the rest of us would be heading to the bar. Her problem according to her own view of her condition was that she had had years of "bleeding in the knee" whatever that means. YET...when she prayed and went before "Brother X" (I forget the name) she was "healed". Better than that EVERYBODY, her doctors, her relatives, her friends, strangers, EVERYBODY had always told her that it was her right leg that was the problem. Brother X, however, "discovered" that it was her LEFT leg that was lame. He prayed for its healing, and YES it was healed. Praise God !

At this point the line started to move. God Girl moved forward with the rest of us limping severely ON THE RIGHT LEG. We boarded the plane. God Girl sat forward from us. As we tried to get past God Boy was saying his goodbyes to God Girl. I couldn't escape the impression that I had witnessed some sort of primitive and crude sexual display behavior gone seriously wrong.
Ah well, that was my adventure in anthropology during this trip.
Just as a note to the wise...I have as little sympathy for Isalamic loonies as I do for evil "Christian" loonies. It's just that THEY would NEVER spew their bullshit in a public lineup AND MOST IMPORTANTLY nobody with knowledge would ever suffer consequences for correcting them. Unless, of course, they lived in one of the theocracies that mirror the USA in the Middle East. Consider what you have to fear the next time you travel.

1 comment:

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Well told story. You were surely wise not to involve yourself with the two individuals you describe. Airports are Gotcha Zones, cannot be too careful in environments like that.

In an airport recently I too was subjected to a distasteful couple. Something did not add up about them. My bullshit detector still has not recovered. I took not the bait.

The man was portly, cold blue eyes, about our age. The woman this side of homely, perhaps a little younger. My fictional account of the encounter ran last December.

In reality, when we touched down in Dope City, Vomit Man was suddenly straight as an arrow, a feat of physical impossibility to my eye, and tried to engage me in conversation as we waited for our baggage at the carousel. Strange that. The hook, if it was a hook, looked less appetizing than ever then.

Because of the company I have kept over the years and my choice of political philosophy I have been the subject of state surveillance for long enough for them to know my only threat to their sordid order is my ideas and organizational skills. I am very much a Godwinian. You would not think they have the resources to waste on a peaceful, gradualist libertarian socialist like me. Maybe. Trouble is, waste, not war, is the true measure of the health of the state.