Monday, September 01, 2008
MOLLY HELPS THE LEPRECHAUN FILL HIS POT OF GOLD:
It was a few days ago that we visited Cork, and made the inevitable side trip to Blarney castle and the Blarney Stone. It's actually not such a bad place, less tacky than Galway is in fact, but more on that later.
But speaking of tack....We jump off the bus and the wife immediately gravitates towards the TTTT (Tacky, Trashy Tourist Trinkets). As is her usual Molly spots the nearest bar and heads in that direction. Different inevitable magnets I guess.
Well, I sit down, have the first pint and strike up a conversation with the guy at the stool next to me who is in the serious business of drinking himself drunk, sober, drunk again and sober once more. Many hours left to go. He turns out to be a local, interestingly enough living in the only house that is actually in the Burrough of Blarney (it sits just beyond the dividing line). All others in the village are really in another burrough. Yakkity, yakitty yak. I get the story of the replay of his fight last night, and he shows me his hand as proof. By God the wounds there are actually a perfect arc of human bite wounds. He tells me that he won however.
Well, the guy keeps appearing and disappearing, but it takes me awhile- and a couple more pints- to realize he is actually a leprechaun. Fiiiiiiinally the wife wanders in for her beer. More yakity yak. The guy keeps doing his appearance, disappearance routine. The wife won't believe me when he does a "semi-disappearance" that he is still really there. By this time I can see him almost all the time. The wife, however, is still missing a few points on her blood alcohol content. All this I should emphasize is before I stagger off down the road to get to the Castle and kiss the Blarney Stone. Oh, all you unbelievers !! No wonder you can't see the wee folk.
But let's get to the moral of the story. The wife pulls out some "blarney wishing stone" that she bought over at the pickpockets den disguised as a store. It consists of a simple piece of granite with a token crazy glued to the top. How much did you pay for that ? Six Euros !!!!. This gets Molly's mental calculator working. The poor leprechaun is complaining about the cost of living. Perhaps years ago he made a serious mistake and and bought into IT stocks, He then took whatever was left over and thought he'd play it safe in the money market, traded in what was left of his gold for a pot of American dollars.
Sure wee green fellow says Molly I can help you out here. Your yard has stones, an endless supply of stones. Crazy glue is cheap if you aren't too liberal with it. Get the tokens saying "genuine Blarney stones, direct from Blarney" made in bulk (maybe 2 cents per token). Packaging, with some ridiculous little poem and promise- another nickel each. Put it all together. Manufacturing price less than a dime. Selling price the equivalent of $10 Canadian. 10,000 % profit !!!!!! Even adding in the cost of marketing and the various costs of transport, wholesaling and retailing what you have is the business opportunity of the century.
The poor green fellow could rapidly fill up his pot and start a few more besides. One hopes a)that the words stuck through the various cycles of sobriety and drunkenness and b)he is so kind as to ship one of the pots over. Even a little pot will do. Molly, of course, is such a kind a sweet cat that she needs no repayment, but a little gold never did anyone any harm.