HAPPY EASTER FROM MOLLYMEW:

HISTORY:

THE EASTER CONTROVERSY:

Easter Sunday will soon be ending. The date of Easter is, of course, a "moveable feast", as Molly has mentioned in her previous blog on the Paschal Full Moon. The presumed date of Easter is connected to the Jewish lunar calender. It has generally been presumed that the 'Last Supper' was a Passover Feast. The synoptic gospels seem to say that this was actually the feast of 'Unleavened Bread' which preceded Passover. The Gospel of John, however, speaks explicitly of the elders of the Jews not wanting to enter the hall of Pilate so that they could "eat the Passover", saying that it had not yet occurred. In the early Church Easter was celebrated on the date of the "14th Nissan" , of the Jewish calender. This was the date of the "preparation" for the feast of the Passover. During the Middle Ages the 14th of Nissan became known as the Paschal Full Moon.

In the early Church the practice in the East was to celebrate Easter on the 14th Nissan(the fourteenth day of the Moon), while the practice in the western Church was to celebrate it on the following Sunday. Those who held to the traditional date of Easter were called "Quartodecimans". This may seem something of a silly controversy today, but Molly hastes to remind her readers that this was one of many controversies whereby the early Christians slaughtered each other to numbers that exceed the persecution of the Roman state byat least a factor of ten. As the Church became increasingly anti-Semitic in te early years of the Common Era the practice of celebrating Easter on the 14th of Nissan fell into increasing disfavour.

The next phase of the controversy over the date of Easter arose with the Council of Nicaea in 325 CE. The emperor Constantine (of matricidal and Christian fame). The Christians of Syria and Mesopotamia still held to the 14th of Nissan as the date of Easter. The Council of Nicaea attempted to fix the date of Easter with our present tradition. The actual power to determine the date of Easter was referred, not to the Papacy at Rome, but rather to the Bishop of Alexandria. At this time methods of calculation called Computus were adopted. These paid tribute to a pre-Marxist scholastic tradition whereby the reality of astronomical events was ignored in favour of deriving dates from texts. In further years the date of Easter was often ascertained by political compromises between Rome and Alexandria.

The final phase of the 'Easter Date Controversy' arose during the struggle of the Papacy to place the Irish Church under their authority. The Irish monks had re-Christianized England and also Scotland. Their missionaries had spread well afield into Germany and Denmark. The Irish monastic tradition represented a serious threat to the diocesan imperial method way of organizing the Church as per the Papacy. In the end the Irish bowed down on this and other matters. The way that the Irish determined the date of Easter is still obscure. It may have been from following a different calender system than the Julian. It may have been from following the practice of the early Church in the east.

Presently "Pascha" is an important feast of the Orthodox and eastern Catholic Churches. It is actually the most important feast in their calender, having precedence over Christmas. These celebrations are, of course, held according to the Julian calender rather than our common calender.

HUMOUR:

RETURN TO SCARY SQUIRREL WORLD:

Speaking of forgotten projects, the last post reminded me of how long it has been since I posted something here from one of my favourite sites, Scary Squirrel World. This morning when carrying the nuts out to my masters at their feeders I saw the elusive grey squirrel from down the alley making a grab for the nuts. One of the usual red squirrels "sat guard" on the power line above. Being either stoned out of his mind (too much nut beer?, smoking the shells ?) or being a complete tard (political incorrectness noted on the part of those who make money off these people) the red squirrel sat there stunned while the grey guy looted the nuts.

But anyhow, it is Easter, and you must hear the horrifying tale of the 'EASTER EGG MASSACRE' .

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EASTER EGG MASSACRE
Every year, reports flood in to scary squirrel world describing thieving skwerls ruining Easter parties around the nation. Take this classic example: at least 10 chitterdemons attacked a children's party in Rochester, New York, making off with plastic eggs filled with candy in full view of frightened onlookers.

The arboreal terrors were driven off, but party host, Ann Wiater observed, "It was such chaos... who wants to eat candy from an egg that's got teeth marks all over it?"

Isolated incidents? Coincidence? Simple opportunism? One might think so. In fact, scary squirrel world once viewed these annual attacks as routine skwerlien harassment. After all, any event or holiday involving outdoor activity invites chitterbox aggression. But why so many attacks on Easter?

Our extensive research found the answer in a centuries old Teutonic practice:
Squirrels are also part of the Easter rites in the Harz mountains of Germany: the people of Braunrode go into the nearest woodland to hunt squirrels "by throwing stones and cudgels, till at last the animals drop exhausted into their hands, dead or alive" (Grimm, Teutonic Mythology, II, p. 616).

There you have it, Patriots. Proof positive that the drooling nutkins are spreading Easter mayhem in retribution for the noble efforts of brave German villagers, fellow Patriots, who dared to resist the chitterbox plan for squirrel world domination...

So, what can be done to prevent these horrendous attacks? Studies show that the traditional methods are ineffective or illegal in these modern times. In fact, many municipalities, where most Easter egg hunts occur, have laws against chucking cudgels (aka whacking stick) and/or shooting at skwerls within city limits .

Additionally, some of today's children are appalled and even traumatized by efforts to keep the bushytail horde in check. However, there are ways to prevent the slavering skwerlballs from making off with Easter eggs. For example, do not hide the eggs until a few minutes before the hunt begins. Even the most well organized skwerlien cadre will have trouble mustering its forces on such short notice and the egg hunt should proceed unmolested by nutzy saboteurs.

Unfortunately, many events can't accommodate the strategy described above. In that case we recommend using the Egg Head Skwerl Trap and/or hiring an Attack Clown to counter skwerlien aggression.

Now, we know what some of you are thinking. You're guessing that there's no such thing as the Egg Head Skwerl Trap (but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be), and you figure the Attack Clown in the video moves to slow to catch a cold let alone a slavering chitterbox. Well, you may be right, but that's not important... What is important is that we find a way to save our Easter egg hunts from the savage onslaught of the bushytail horde. If our ideas seem impractical or outlandish, perhaps you have a better ones.

See Scary Squirrel World for the complete videos associated with this article.

HAPPY

EASTER

FROM MOLLYMEW:

SAVING THE EASTER BUNNY

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road.

50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again! The man was astonished.He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

HOLIDAYS:

THE PASCHAL FULL MOON:

Yesterday, at 6:40 pm UT (1:40 pm here in Winnipeg in the CDT zone), the 'Paschal Full Moon' arrived. This is the full moon that is taken as the event from which the day that Easter falls on is decided. There has actually been a long history about the setting of the date of Easter, and I hope to deal with this tomorrow on Easter Sunday. In traditional western Christianity Easter is traditionally the first Sunday after the first full moon following the Vernal Equinox. In actual fact the date of this full moon is not taken from reality but rather from a set of ecclesiastical tables known as a "Computus". The date of the "full moon" as given by these religious devises may differ from reality by up to two days. Ah, the miracle of faith !

The Paschal full moon has a few other names, derived from native American traditions. These include the 'Full Worm Moon', the 'Full Crow Moon', the 'Full Crust Moon' and the 'Full Sap Moon '. See 'The Moons of 2008' earlier on this blog for the names of the full moons of this year. You can also find the exact time of any full moon by consulting the tables on the Time and Date website.

EASTER EGGS :

Easter Eggs have been a long standing part of Easter tradition. Their use in the festivals of spring predated Christianity. The Passover Seder, for instance, uses a hard boiled egg as a symbol of new life and the Temple service in Jerusalem. The ancient Persian new year, Nowrooz, featured painted eggs. Similarly the egg featured in Roman, Chinese and Egyptian religion as well. Both the hare and the egg were sacred to the putative Saxon goddess Eostre (many variations on the name), even though there is limited information about this goddess- or even if she was actually worshipped at all. The earliest reference to Eostre is in the Venerable Bede's "On the Reckoning of Time" in which he gives an account of the English months. There is more than a little doubt about Bede's conclusions, and the meaning of the name of the month may be simply "the month of opening" or "the month of beginnings". As with old English there is no surviving textual reference for such a goddess in Old Norse. In 1835 Jacob Grimm (of the brothers Grimm) speculated on the existence of such a goddess in ancient German religion, and he gave her the name "Ostara". Unlike Bede Grimm fully admitted that what he wrote was speculation. Grimm also speculated that there was a connection between the Babylonian goddess Ishtar. Nowadays few people outside of neo-paganism and fundamentalist Christianity take this seriously. The "tradition" that Molly mentioned in an earlier blog about how the goddess Eostre aided a wounded bird by transforming it into a hare (that retained the ability to lay eggs) only dates to 1990 when it was created by the author Sarah Ban Breathnach. It reached a larger audience in 2002 when a version was published under the title 'The Coming of Eostre' in the children's' magazine 'Cricket'.

All that being, said a vast number of legends of the Easter egg have developed in mainstream Christianity as well. In Poland there were two entertaining legends. One concerns the Virgin Mary who was supposed to have given eggs to the soldiers present at the crucifixion. It was said that she urged them to be less cruel and wept. Mary's tears fell upon the eggs and spotted them with bright colours. Another Polish legend says that when Mary Magdalen went to the tomb of Jesus to anoint the body she was carrying a basket of eggs for her meal. When she uncovered them at the tomb they has miraculously turned from white to a rainbow of colours. In the Orthodox tradition Easter eggs are typically coloured red. The legend surrounding this is that a Roman emperor said that the story of the Resurrection was as likely as red eggs. Mary Magdalen supposedly went to the Emperor and presented him with a basket of red eggs as proof of the Resurrection. The traditional colour of Easter eggs in Greece is red while further north the traditional colour was green. In Slavic countries the traditional colours were gold and silver.

The tradition of the Easter bunny and his eggs supposedly came to America with German immigrants in the 18th century. The earliest Easter eggs in Europe were not just chicken eggs but also duck or goose eggs. Easter eggs customs are widespread in not just the Germanic cultures but also in Latin, Slavic and Orthodox countries, making it unlikely that they derive from presumed Teutonic religion. There are a number of customs surrounding egg contests in various parts of the world. In Scotland and North East England there are egg rolling contests where the eggs are rolled downhill. In the USA the races are sometimes held on flat ground, and the eggs are pushed by a spoon. The contest on the White House lawn each Easter is the most famous(MOLLY NOTE:- I intend to look up what has happened to this in the last few years of "the Empire besieged" and the resultant paranoia). There is also a tradition in North-East England and parts of the Balkans of "egg dumping", "egg jarping" or "tucanje" in the Balkans. This is a sort of marbles game where one hits an opponent's egg with one's own, and the intact one wins. In Germany there are egg throwing contests where the winners are judged by both distance and lack of breakage.

Artificial Easter eggs began to be made at the end of the 17th century, and in the early 1800s the first chocolate eggs appeared in Germany and France. The first chocolate eggs were solid, and hollow eggs followed later. Originally these were very difficult to make because the chocolate of that day was not easily worked. By the turn of the 19th century easily worked chocolate had become available and today the chocolate egg is worldwide.

A number of traditional Easter dishes feature eggs as a main ingredient. One example is the Spanish dish "hornazo". In both Catholic and Orthodox traditions eggs were forbidden during Lent, and any eggs produced during this season would have to be hard boiled for preservation. They were consumed at the end of Lent. The weirdest of these is the fact that apparently "deep fried chocolate Easter eggs' are sold in Scottish fish and chip shops around Easter. The stomach turns.

The "Easter bunny" is not an universal tradition. In France and Belgium the eggs are supposed to be dropped from the sky by the "cloches de Paques" (the Easter Bells). The Church bells were silenced on Good Friday and only rang again on Easter Sunday. According to the story the bells (pictured with wings) are supposed to have flown to Rome on Good Friday and come back loaded with eggs on Easter morning. In some jurisdictions in the USA overly politically correct politicians have attempted to ban the Easter bunny, or they have tried to rename it as the "Spring Bunny". In Australia there has been a government campaign to replace the Easter Bunny with the Easter Bilby (a native Australian marsupial) as rabbits are far from popular in Australia.

The Easter Bunny and his eggs have become the subject of many productions in popular culture, from 'Here Comes Peter Cottontail, through the Muppets and on to 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' where the Easter Bunny is mistaken for Santa Claus. A 'South Park' 'Fantastic Easter Special' provides an alternative origin of the Easter Bunny as part of a parody of 'The Da Vinci Code'. In the television series 'The Fairly Odd Parents' the Easter Bunny is the leader of a group of holiday characters that get the child Timmy Turner to unwish his wish of 'Christmas Every Day'. They also "take out" a rather thuggish Santa Claus.

The height of Easter egg production is perhaps the "pysanki" designs produced in Ukraine and Poland. These are produced by successive dips in wax and dye. After each dye dip wax is painted over the area where the preceding colour is to remain.

The famous Faberge eggs were first produced by the French shop of Faberge on a commission by Czar Alexander III as an Easter gift to his wife Maria Fyodorovna. These were like the matryoshka dolls with smaller eggs nestled inside the larger ones. The tradition was continued by the last Czar, Nicolas II, after the death of his father in 1895. Eggs were then made both for the Czar's wife and for his widowed mother. Altogether a total of 56 eggs (two of them unfinished) were made up to 1917. Only 54 of them have been located today. Materials used included silver, gold, copper, nickel and palladium. Local stone was used for general fabrication, and precious stones such as sapphire, ruby, emeralds and diamonds were used only for decoration. Another 12 Easter eggs were commissioned from the Faberge shop by the Siberian gold mine owner Alexander Ferdinanovich Kelch. The largest collection today is housed at the Kremlin Armoury Museum were there are 21 eggs. The present owner of the Faberge brand, Victor Mayer, continues to produce modern imitations to this day. In 1930 Stalin, hungry for cash, sold 14 of the eggs to international dealers, some for as little as $400 US. The Wikipedia site on these artifacts gives a complete listing of the eggs. Look at the other site above for viewing.

Molly on Easter